Search for Torrent Files

Every now and then I go on a date with her; spend so many pleasant and unforgettable moments; and even before I realize that I am with her, the time for her to leave already arrives. Ah! That departure thing really hurts. She is so mesmerizing; has such a sweet smile and above all, makes me forget all the displeasure I can ever think of. What a nice friend to have; and I am damn sure I am not going to lose her no matter what comes in between us. She says she loves me and I know she does. Even I feel the same thing for her – my sweet little friend – Ms. Deception.

We hang around rather too often and find great times together, with each other. She says I am the best, that I am smart, that I can do everything and more. She praises me and lets me know that I can never go wrong, that there isn’t anybody who can beat me, and that it’s just a matter of time before everybody recognizes my worth; and I know she is not lying or trying to flatter me. She cares for me and will never let me down. After all she is Ms. Deception. And this is all what she is supposed to be doing.

Some times I just start to get the feeling that I am going in the wrong direction by falling in love with her. And she is already there; to rescue me, get me out of wrong place which fills me with wrong notions. She shows her indescribable fondness and warmth she has got for me. She gets me out of all the crap I invoke within me taking for granted that I have a beauty who shall never feel diminished when I don’t think about her. But to be frank, I actually think about her more when I am sure that I am not thinking about her. But she always loves me; my dearest Ms. Deception.

Then one day I woke up to a harsh reality. Even then I wasn’t sure that I was sleeping but all I knew was that I woke up. I understood that she was all but truth; she was beauty but was a misleading mirage; she was pure but that purity was a toxic; she was enchanting and enthralling but that was just to provide me with false contentment; she introduced bliss into my being but that was just to make me fall asleep into the dreams of unreal and inane gardens full of gorgeous flowers - flowers made of hemlock. She, as I understand now, was sweet yet un-forgiven. She had un-mistakably taken away my ability to recognize my faults. Ah! Ms. Deception, why did you do this to? What on earth made you kill my self-conscience? You are bad. You are insane. You are a cheat and you can never be good for me. I shall never forgive you.

But wait, I am not going to leave her this way; not forgiving means inflicting a punishment; and it should be a punishment as large as the love she had for me. So then I decided to answer her back in her own dish. I devised a plan to teach her a lesson. I planned to deceive Ms. Deception.

I made up my mind to become the best of all I can be; a person who is an exception to all the man-made boundaries of perfection beyond which not even the very best of the contemptuous men can see. I decided to make myself a human too good to be a human. And all this was just decided to cheat Ms. Deception. And this decision also meant that I am going to use her for my most selfish desire of becoming the highest creation and the cleanest heart to ever exist.

I knew that if I behave and show the very best, she’d call me bad and probably very bad. I also knew that if I manage to stop this degradation to hinder my self-esteem, I’ll well be deceived, and I’ll believe that I am the worst.

And this happened. I was deceived to perfection – till I was sure and confident that I got nothing good in me. I was very happy for I knew this was good for me. When I know that I am bad, I am bound to work even harder to make myself good. And more bad I think I am, the more I’ll work to become good. Ha ha ha, Ms. Deception, just see how cruel I am. What do you think, is it only you who can deceive? You are wrong. I have got a gift form my Lord, which I have thankfully realized. And this gift is my mind. Don’t mistake it for a brain for it’s merely a physical lump of mass. My mind has the facility to think and ponder, and you know what, I have learnt to use it.

Ms. Deception, I defeat you.

She is gone now making me a better person. I have now become all that I was created to be. I am the best now. I am the purest now. Everybody likes me and loves me for what I am. Everywhere I go I spread happiness and cheer. People adore me.

But was Ms. Deception so weak. She loved me so much, how can she get hurt with a small execution of a merciless plan? How is it possible that she has left the person who could never live without her? How can she live without me? How can she leave me when I have become the greatest of the men who reside on this planet? How can she ignore the crowned king?

A very long time passed and I was confident that I no more had Ms. Deception with me, and I also knew that I was the best. It was all so wonderful. And then suddenly, I woke up. Hey, I was already awake. I woke up long back. What the freak is this now? Damn it. Who said I woke up?

There was a thunder up in the sky. The lightning was so full of horror that I was again sure I woke up. Come on now. I said I never slept. I said I was already awake. How can I wake up again? Have I gone mad?

Then there was a loud, strong and clear voice from the above. It was totally a different accent; I had never heard of something like this before. I began to feel small and tiny. I felt frail and shiver. This was God speaking.

He said, “You are crazy”.
In a suffocating voice I replied, “I know it”.
He asked, “What are you doing for it then. Don’t you have any will to come out of that craze?”

I was confused. Am I expected to come out of this? I don’t have Ms. Deception with me. How can I do something wrong that God himself had to come to me and tell me to correct myself. I might be dreaming. But…but…it was just a few minutes back I thought I woke up. I am going nuts.

He raised His voice again, “You think you don’t have her with you. What made you think that? Why do you think whatever you think about yourself? Why do you believe that you are the best? It’s only because you are still being deceived”.

Now He was softer with me and began to explain me with love. “Ms. Deception never left you. She just got deeper into you and made you take it for granted that she has left. She is there with you, closer to you than before. She is absorbed in you and it’s not a human act to separate her from yourself. She has been deceiving you and cheating you all these days and was making you believe that you are simply something more than good. It was an illusion you were living with. You are a victim of self-deception.”

Then I understood how silly I had been all these days. I smiled at my own foolishness and regretted my inability to realize that I was simply fooling myself.

I pleaded, “Oh! God please tell me what I must do now”.

He said, “Use Ms. Deception to her best of ability as you did when you had planned. But never think that she has left you. She will never do that. Stick to the principle of integrity and utilize her efficiency. Love her and make her do only good to you”.

Then He left.

Then the very next moment I went on a date with her. She is so nice, so charming. She is helping me now; to become a better person. I try to go against her but she never distances herself from me. I use the art of self-deception now, and I am doing it pretty well.

Now, just before ending this story, I’d like to tell you that I never expect you to understand it. I admit that what I have written was tough to comprehend. But it’s okay. I just don’t write for you, I write for myself – to satisfy myself. So just relax and try to imagine what I might be doing now with her.

Oh! God. I am at it AGAIN. Saying that I don’t expect people to understand what I write. No, I want them to understand what I write and I want them to help me realize the infliction of deception Ms. Deception tries on me. How can I cheat myself by saying that I don’t write for others? If I don’t write for others then why am I trying to make so many people read it? I must really be a fool. Silly me.

So now, I am with her. I play with her; I flirt with her; I dance with her. Wow, I am really in love. Not in love with Ms. Deception. I am in love with my life. But I enjoy my time with her. It’s so wonderful. I romance with deception.