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I thought of having my ego inflated today, much in lines with my inclination towards objectivism and epistemological concepts. It was fine until I gave in to a meek surrender to the sharp edge of the frivolous worry of being mocked at. I expected an enlightening burst but it was rather a slow venting out of the charged matter, a ramification, of my throttling delusions. I was back to square-one again.

I guess I misunderstood myself and thought myself of being good and worthy enough to be called as a grown up and a matured; no idea if 19 years are enough to make me a rational human being. I have been trying to get maturity into my sub-consciousness to make it spontaneously wise and obnoxiously impressive – objectivism you see. I have often won over these cheeky attempts to beget a grown-up look but what confuses me is the reason I should fake maturity. Some like to be kids all though the growing process and never want to grow up so I question my loosely knit wisdom if this can ever be worth sacrificing the reality I can live in.

And yeah, the definition of maturity - the period of time in your life after your physical growth has stopped and you are fully developed. Interesting isn’t it? No mention of the mental and emotional development. And whenever I talk about life, love and future, there is always someone out there to say “you are not mature enough to talk this dude”. It’s high time then that we define what exactly becoming mature and grown up means.

(So all you mature aunts and uncles, you’ve got some serious work to do to help out your juniors. Your so called mature comments shall be appreciated.)

Actually here is a problem with some uncanny and illogical translation in what the message conveys. There are several instances of this kind and the level of misunderstanding is enormous. Let me work around a few of them.

Some times I am considered a threat by some very wise people who can’t show a little understanding and care towards immature guys like me. I wonder what makes them believe that I intend to harm them or confuse them. They don’t know how sensitive I become at times. A few days back I saw a barbaric act by a mosquito digging into my skin and sucking blood shamelessly. I did nothing. It was just trying to quench it’s bloody thirst – it was filling it’s stomach just to continue living. I couldn’t even shoo it away for if I had done it, I would have felt guilty for it later.

Some people even don’t show wisdom in saying ‘no’ to me. They don’t even have the simple etiquettes to answer a phone call. They can’t understand I just wanted to talk and was in no way asking for any commitment. Or was it just another misunderstanding – a wrong translation of my intention in action?

May be we all are different people but that’s what this whole story is all about. Being different is the key to progress. How can we expect similarities to explain diversified living habits and choices? Differences are for celebrating and not for proclaiming.

Lately I got interested in being objectivistic and ruthless. Studying epistemology, metaphysics, politics, ethics, and aesthetics was really absorbing giving me a high form of satisfaction. I want to create a synergy with objectivism and religion how pretty aware of the objections and verbal abuses I may be bombarded with. But how can I explain that this is how the things work? I mean I have a full right over what I believe as long as I m under the shadow of my faith in God almighty. And I want to show my faith because faith is belief in action. There are bound to be many misunderstandings – wrong translations for that matter.

All these wrong translations put forth only one valid explanatory reason. It is the human nature to speculate and assume facts much of it may not at all be truth. These assumptions have helped scientists achieve great knowledge on the workings of complex systems but the speculatory assumption I have a grudge against, are the ones that cannot explain the complex human natures.

People should understand that there are things beyond what they think can exist. Their thinking has been blinded by the mediocrity they have been seeing in their past lives. Credentials on the wall never make us a good person. Goodness in understanding others makes us good.

As I have already mentioned in one of my old postings (A Story – Distract and Cheat), I again stress its meaning at depth. I had said "The more pure a feeling gets the more unrequited and unbelievable it becomes. It is often ridiculed too. There is no room for purity beyond a particular limit. And I call this limit as life. You understand this sort of limpidness, and you understand life. But I do pray for you that you never have a tryst with this wholesomeness. It takes away "life" from you." Now I will not explain what this really means, all I will say is that this is all I mean.

Please don’t commit a misunderstanding again. It will just be a repetition of an eccentric translation.

© 2006 ZUBAIR

Mr. Bush’s Business Trip to India

It was India Shining and now, it’s Incredible India; no doubt why the world’s largest democracy, India Inc., is said to be rolling. A country with a population of more than a billion, pompously boasting of an economic growth of 8.1%, is very well a vivid explanation of the reasons why India Inc. is important to the world in both economic and military facades. And no doubt why, the President of The United States of America, Mr. George W Bush, was too keen on his visit to this Indian sub – continent.

Mr. George W Bush is the fifth US President to visit India. The first presidential visit was that of Dwight D Eisenhower in 1959 when he spent four days in the country on his 11-nation tour. Then came Mr. Richard M Nixon in 1969 followed by Mr. Jimmy Carter in 1978. After that, it was Mr. Bill Clinton who brought the Indo-US ties closer. Mr. Bush has taken it forward.

As big deals were already presumed, the ones that made news have created history.

In the coming years 14 nuclear facilities would be designed for civilian purposes and 8 for military – including the state of art fast breeders currently being developed for higher efficiency in the enrichment of fissile material. The interesting point being the absence of IAEA safeguards for the military ones. India would also be supplied with fuel for the above. Here, Mr. Bush has over ruled his advisors who insisted on a longer list of civilian nuclear reactors.

And for all this, the president will press the Congress back home to approve the changes necessary in the laws to make them India – friendly. Alongside the US laws, the IAEA will also be pushed forward to tune it’s setups in favor of India, regardless of the fact that this might well be in opposition to the Non – Proliferation Treaty which India has not signed. Mr. Bush is out to bend the NTP by providing India with the knowledge of nuclear weapon technology. This is in hostility to the NTP that prevents the flow of the nuclear know-how out of the sacred 5 permanent members of the United Nations.

Apart from the nuclear deal, the economic transactions discussed were imperative enough to give the much awaited boom to the Indo – US relationship. The bilateral trade will be pushed to $50 billion decided as a three year target. The promise of many more million dollars to be pumped into the Indian agricultural industry is another fact that elucidated the depth of the bilateral interaction the two countries have made. The declared smooth functioning of the outsourcing business is just an icing on the cake. These among several others are the decisions made on the mutual understanding and futuristic co-operation between the two democracies.

As the world behaves on the principle of reasoning, we all are expected to know why the United States of America is being too kind to a third world common wealth country, India. It is necessary that we are au fait with the gains America plans to make with the above said dealings that profoundly show gains to the Indian economy.

There are 300 million middle class people in India, as large as the American population, who like to wear Levis jeans, aspire to own a Ford car, and frequent McDonalds and Pizza Hut outlets. Consumers like Sharille Rodrigues, 20, a call-center employee at 24/7 Customer in Bangalore, are at the heart of that growth. Rodrigues, who has provided technical support for a U.S. company for the past two years, said she loves Mars chocolate, drinks a lot of Pepsi, frequents KFC with friends, uses L'Oreal shampoo, and wears Revlon and Maybelline makeup and Nike shoes. She says she enjoys shopping with her Citibank credit card.

Does she buy Indian brands? Rodrigues pauses and then confesses, "Actually, no, not that many."

The US president has asked India to liberalize more rapidly especially in the fast-growing services such as banking, insurance and retail. The finance minister has been told to remove the FDI cap that acts as a friction to the American companies so that these fully profit-based organizations can grab a hold of the Indian consumer – good domestic markets. These companies will make sure that they get a good share of pie for themselves and will surely push the Congress toward amending the legislation in India’s favor. America wants to gain from this 300 million strong middle class Indian market.

It’s now more than 30 years since US scientists have built a nuclear power plant and they have huge quantities of fuel to sell. It’s obvious what they might plan to gain from the nuclear deals. Then there are those American companies ready to sell weapons and fighter jets to India to seize a chunk of the 89,000 crore rupee Indian defense budget.
No question about the money they intend to make if the two countries get closer.

The 900 men accompanying the US president to India comprised a big number of Business Associates willing to invest billions in India to make billions in return. The board members of ISB, Hyderabad consists of the billionaire fraternity of India and no doubt why Mr. Bush gave a visit to that place.

In addition from all the money benefits US makes in India, it gets a powerful friend in the Asian continent having two permanent members of UN – Russia and China. India becomes an American strong-hold in military terms and economic aspects. It will also force India hard to vote against Iran to prevent it from perusing their nuclear ambitions. India’s geographic closeness to Afghanistan and Pakistan too benefits the US.

So amidst all that that goes on in the news, it’s eventually the United States of America that’s going to make the most of Mr. Bush’s visit to India. The political and economic gains hand in hand with the military ones, makes it clear beyond any doubt the intelligent and monopolizing goals of Mr. Bush and the government of United States. So it can well be said that Mr. Bush was on a business trip to the Indian sub – continent than anything else.

© 2006 ZUBAIR

Will You be pleased if I make my prayer start with words in your praise? I really, really would like to have that kind of a start to everything I do but what stumps is the quest to give out the exalted words to help me express the passion I develop in my surrendered heart to convey my sincere praise to You. I know no matter how much I admire You, I won’t be able to be articulate enough to show You how much I mean those words I may utter. No matter how much I praise you, even if that means spending my whole lifetime just to extol You, it just won’t be enough. I don’t know what to do. I seek Your forgiveness for not being able to give you the praise You deserve.

I ask for Your mercy and forgiveness of every deed I, had and, am doing which might even be a small inch off the track on which You want me to crawl on. Every time I commit a blunder, every time I affirm falsehood, every time I elude compulsions on purpose, I know I am wrong. My heart cries out in the sorrow it reveals to the rest of my converging soul that desires only one act of Yours that will turn by grief into everlasting relief of being forgiven and the blessing of never coming back to it again. My longing to be pure again, as pure as I was when I opened my innocent eyes in this air of corrupted fog though which I saw only evil, asks You to have deliberate generosity in throwing a tiny grain of compassion into my tainted soul that has been rubbed against the filth of satanic pits.

I know I am probably the worst of all the creatures taken onto this land, but I also lucidly believe that You have all the might to make me the best of them. I seek Your forgiveness my merciful Creator, and its only You who commands over the rays of peace I can feel with tenderness on my velvet heart. Forgive me my Lord, I sob and sob and sob.

You listen to everything I utter, even the words I can’t hear. I wish I never had to ask You, but You are all I have. There is only one God and it’s only You. Where do I go and what can I do? I am the cause of my pain and I am the grief, I have created trouble and I am the sufferer, I am the game and I am the player. But You, my King, You are my Creator.

I have committed crimes so large I sense embracement to show my face to You. But its not with me to hide it either, You can see what I can’t – I can’t see my own face, I need a mirror. My faith in You shows the mirror in which I can see my sins. And when I see them, I see blood in my eyes; I realize I deserve hell everywhere. But what do I do, I don’t want hell? You are all I have and I plead You to make that image clear for me. My Lord, You are all I have.

You have been too kind to me, given me everything I had asked for, blessed me with anything I could have ever thought of. You have supplied to me every wealth necessary for happiness and You have given me the love I cant answer. You have been with me always, even when I was not with myself. You were there with me in the dark coasts of the dark seas I walked upon when I saw my heart howl in self-hatred. And even now Your are here with me, helping me behave like myself.

How do I thank you for all this? I can praise you umpteen number of times, I can repeat the thanking words innumerable times, I can cry all though my life just to thank you. But will that be enough? If that really was enough then I’d rather be committing a crime again – just because I think its enough.

I have dreams my God; wishes to be fulfilled and desires to be satisfied. I beg a shower of blessing from You, the one that provides a never ending respite on the barren field of my cracked spirit desolated and left wounded. I know what I ask for is unreasonable, too much for a human to have and too much for a life to live. But my Sustainer, it’s too less for You to consecrate it to me.

Because of the foolishness I commit, I have stains on my heart that tell me that I have got no right to ask You for anything. I am told by my weeping conscience that I am not supposed to request You for anything more. But what do I do then, and to whom should I ask? You are all I have my God, You are all I have.

I turn to You with nothing in my trembling hands. I spread them in front of you. I pray to You. It’s your wish and fancy to accept me and my prayers. This is all I can say. I know I am nobody in comparison to what You are, but I know You have created me and I worship You. I surrender myself to You. May be I am of no use but I beseech that You favor me and fill me with Your shine.

Your glory is unmistakably of the highest rank and the place You stand is beyond my sight. I just feel you inside me and this is enough for me to have faith in You and Your supremacy. No form of life can perturb me or change my path towards You. All this is just because of only one undoubted reason – I have been blessed by You.

I should turn to You as long as You give me the strength. When I am strength-less, my heart will turn to You. My life, my prayer is all for You and because of You. You are my God an I pray to You.