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Will You be pleased if I make my prayer start with words in your praise? I really, really would like to have that kind of a start to everything I do but what stumps is the quest to give out the exalted words to help me express the passion I develop in my surrendered heart to convey my sincere praise to You. I know no matter how much I admire You, I won’t be able to be articulate enough to show You how much I mean those words I may utter. No matter how much I praise you, even if that means spending my whole lifetime just to extol You, it just won’t be enough. I don’t know what to do. I seek Your forgiveness for not being able to give you the praise You deserve.

I ask for Your mercy and forgiveness of every deed I, had and, am doing which might even be a small inch off the track on which You want me to crawl on. Every time I commit a blunder, every time I affirm falsehood, every time I elude compulsions on purpose, I know I am wrong. My heart cries out in the sorrow it reveals to the rest of my converging soul that desires only one act of Yours that will turn by grief into everlasting relief of being forgiven and the blessing of never coming back to it again. My longing to be pure again, as pure as I was when I opened my innocent eyes in this air of corrupted fog though which I saw only evil, asks You to have deliberate generosity in throwing a tiny grain of compassion into my tainted soul that has been rubbed against the filth of satanic pits.

I know I am probably the worst of all the creatures taken onto this land, but I also lucidly believe that You have all the might to make me the best of them. I seek Your forgiveness my merciful Creator, and its only You who commands over the rays of peace I can feel with tenderness on my velvet heart. Forgive me my Lord, I sob and sob and sob.

You listen to everything I utter, even the words I can’t hear. I wish I never had to ask You, but You are all I have. There is only one God and it’s only You. Where do I go and what can I do? I am the cause of my pain and I am the grief, I have created trouble and I am the sufferer, I am the game and I am the player. But You, my King, You are my Creator.

I have committed crimes so large I sense embracement to show my face to You. But its not with me to hide it either, You can see what I can’t – I can’t see my own face, I need a mirror. My faith in You shows the mirror in which I can see my sins. And when I see them, I see blood in my eyes; I realize I deserve hell everywhere. But what do I do, I don’t want hell? You are all I have and I plead You to make that image clear for me. My Lord, You are all I have.

You have been too kind to me, given me everything I had asked for, blessed me with anything I could have ever thought of. You have supplied to me every wealth necessary for happiness and You have given me the love I cant answer. You have been with me always, even when I was not with myself. You were there with me in the dark coasts of the dark seas I walked upon when I saw my heart howl in self-hatred. And even now Your are here with me, helping me behave like myself.

How do I thank you for all this? I can praise you umpteen number of times, I can repeat the thanking words innumerable times, I can cry all though my life just to thank you. But will that be enough? If that really was enough then I’d rather be committing a crime again – just because I think its enough.

I have dreams my God; wishes to be fulfilled and desires to be satisfied. I beg a shower of blessing from You, the one that provides a never ending respite on the barren field of my cracked spirit desolated and left wounded. I know what I ask for is unreasonable, too much for a human to have and too much for a life to live. But my Sustainer, it’s too less for You to consecrate it to me.

Because of the foolishness I commit, I have stains on my heart that tell me that I have got no right to ask You for anything. I am told by my weeping conscience that I am not supposed to request You for anything more. But what do I do then, and to whom should I ask? You are all I have my God, You are all I have.

I turn to You with nothing in my trembling hands. I spread them in front of you. I pray to You. It’s your wish and fancy to accept me and my prayers. This is all I can say. I know I am nobody in comparison to what You are, but I know You have created me and I worship You. I surrender myself to You. May be I am of no use but I beseech that You favor me and fill me with Your shine.

Your glory is unmistakably of the highest rank and the place You stand is beyond my sight. I just feel you inside me and this is enough for me to have faith in You and Your supremacy. No form of life can perturb me or change my path towards You. All this is just because of only one undoubted reason – I have been blessed by You.

I should turn to You as long as You give me the strength. When I am strength-less, my heart will turn to You. My life, my prayer is all for You and because of You. You are my God an I pray to You.