window.google_analytics_uacct = "UA-240124-2"; "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"> Flowing Emotions
Sunday, November 27, 2005
I am NOT Mentally Vulnerable - A Realisation Redifined
It was three years back that one of my aunts warned me that she was going to sue me for propagating dangerous ideas. I didn’t know how to react to it but all I could do was to think if I speak of things that may be destructive to me in particular and my surroundings in general. The answer I got was a straight NO. In now way was I wrong with my theories then; it was only that they were conflicting with others’.

But now I am glad I had someone who had to say that I got ideas too strong to make others ponder upon. I am glad these ideas are dangerous.

And yes, it’s also my mental strength, my mental invulnerability that I am glad about. I have a circle drawn around myself that makes me feel strong and secure. What ever I do is from inside of that circumference and all my existence smartens up in it. And I belong to some place – my home, my circle.

I have a responsible head on my shoulders. I am aware of the place I am supposed to be and I am sure I am already there. I can mould me into whatever I’d like to become, and it’s not only that I can, I have already done it. Many believe that it takes ages for a person to become all that he wants to be. But look at me. I am already there - going strong and satisfied. I am very well an exception to many beliefs and axioms. I have the guts to break free and get along with deeds and ideologies usually unapproved and differed. I have dared to walk on the streets people are afraid to foray into, and I don’t fear making everyone au fait with it.

Sometimes I do feel that I am lacking confidence and I am weak mentally. But I am not. I am of the most powerful emotional intelligences in the being and I have the intentions to beat any creature that tries to undermine my supremacy.

I got the awesome ability to have two minds and yet be functional with it. I can make people believe that I am very happy even when I am actually not. I can make myself laugh and cry whenever needed. I have the incredible knack to play with my own passions and senses and push them into any direction I desire to. I can fully control my emotions. And I am doing it.

I accept it is only my responsibility of everything that goes inside and even outside of me. Outside because it’s only my attitude and perception that makes that other thing, the way it is, for me. It’s the way I see it – good or bad. I can, with ease, pull up or bring down a person, insult him or praise him, like him or hate him. I can even make others agree with what all I speak of. Again, it’s not only that I can, I have already done it, and for that matter, done it many times.


I know how to make a lie look larger than a truth and yet not compromise on my integrity. I can cheat without using a falsehood and yet not allow the other person to even feel that he has been cheated. And he will also agree that I am at fault in no way. That’s the power in me – the quality I relish fully aware of my religion and ethics.

I don’t take praise and flattery seriously and never get carried away with it. I don’t get elevated with extol and for that matter, no type of insult can bring me down. I never accept it when a person says that I am good at something. The reason is if I accept that, then I’ll stop doing everything I do to be good at it.

I don’t fear critiquing any person or system. I have no worries of the backlashes or the hatred I might get in return. And I know that when a person I criticizing me, he can be more of wrong than right. I also understand how to differentiate between constructive criticism and negativity.


I know where I should be angry and where I should be patient, where to shout and where to be quite, where to laugh and where to cry. I am in full control of my attitude.

I never believe a person when he or she downplays another person. I put people before their actions, so even when I see someone doing wrong I still believe that he is a good human. I believe intentions speak lauder than words.

I sense pride in myself when I hear someone calling me mad or crazy because it’s only when you get mad at something, will you achieve it. I am in total agreement that I am ridiculous. I like doing different things, and doing the regular things differently. This gives me satisfaction.

No person can hurt my feelings and no object can distract me from my path unless I opt to get in new things into my life or increase my diameter. I can gather myself instantaneously when I am shocked and perturbed. I think closely about every emotion inflicted on me and understand only one thing – there is a better side to it. I take every problem as a new experience.

I have clarity in my mind and every contradiction that arises is resolved spontaneously with high probability of correctness.

I have handled blows on my heart and will continue to do so. Though I haven’t seen much in life, I know that what I have seen is not less. Though I have seen problems and sorrows, I am aware that they are many more to come and I am prepared for them.

I am NOT groping in the dark. I feel everything, and appreciate and realize the whole thing.

I believe in things that are meant to be and I also believe in things I haven’t experienced yet. I learn from others and allow them to learn from me. I understand that they are many people in the world I might not appreciate, but

I have learnt to like them and live with them. I believe in perfection and yet trust in imperfect things. I honor people irrespective of what they do to me. I live my life and let others to live their own.

Again - I am not mentally vulnerable. I am strong and steady. I won’t fall for anything because there are principles I stand for. No human can baffle me. I am invulnerable.

But in the end I also ironically believe that it is the easiest thing on earth, for a man, to deceive and make a fool of his own self - IRONICALLY, Humorous. Isn’t it?
 
posted by xubayr at 10:01:00 AM | Permalink | 1 comments
Sunday, November 20, 2005
A Story - Distract and Cheat
One day as I entered my class, I found my friends talking about an article they had read the previous day, on my blog-site. It was something about my intention to write a book on my life. I knew there were going to be many questions and I believe this was what I was really preparing for. But I didn’t go to them and kept quiet.

Then suddenly one of them shouted,"Tomorrow, by the end of the day, I want you to present that book to me". I was shocked. How come he knew so much about me? Or is he guessing?

I simply gave a plain reply. "There is no such book as yet."

There was a short silence before I spoke up again in a very low voice. "My typing speed is a lot faster than my writing speed."

Now he was really sure that I had started to write something about myself and I was in a fix as I didn’t wish to reveal about it to any of my acquaintances or even friends.

Then he said, "You needn’t hide anything from your friends".

There were many of my classmates listening to this and their concerted eyes looking at me made it clear that they were expecting an answer from me.

I had no words to speak. I was nonplused and literally didn’t know what to say because it was in no way that I could tell them about the work I am doing at home.

I looked up toward him and responded, "I’ll tell you something I read long back. It’s a saying by Khalil Gibran. Listen carefully.
‘When I stood a clear mirror before you, you gazed into me and saw your image.
Then you said, "I love you."
But in truth you loved yourself in me.’"

At first he couldn’t understand any thing about what I had just said. And I suppose it was the same case with the others too. He asked me to repeat it. So I did.

"Wow" was his reaction.

Then I continued, fully aware of all the eager ears around me, "You start liking people only because of the way they behave. They do something which you like and would wish to emulate. This simply means that you want to copy from that person or probably become like him. That person has shown something in him which is somewhat like what you call for yourself a perfect – kind. And when this feeling persists for a period of time it gets converted into undefined things. You just don’t get the head or tail of it and you end up believing that it is love.

But it’s only that she has loved in him what resembles her. She has loved herself in him."

He thought for a while and asked, "Are you trying to say that there is nothing like love?"

"No, I am not", was my reply. "All I mean to say is that whatever you feel for a person, after liking in him what you want to become like, shouldn’t be mistaken for love."

"It’s the concept of mirroring that makes the person with you, comfortable. Everyone likes people who do things they like"

Then suddenly there was a loud shout from my back. It was my other friend who too wanted to put her word forward. She said "Everybody gives their definition for love. What is it for you then?"


Though an answer was expected from me, I gave something else. "Never try to understand life. The reason for this is that it is really an easy thing to understand. But what are you going to do after understanding life? The next thing you will desire to understand will be death. You can keep on experiencing life for at least sometime. But death is a one-time experience. People stop "living" once they have understood life."

But she didn’t listen to the full thing I had said. She just caught the fact said by me, "life was easy to understand". She asked me if I could elaborate on that.

This was now getting on my nerves.

I gave a glance to my watch and that made me smile.

I said, "Life is what that lives and we humans live. But there is a paradox; the living we live is worlds apart from what the other creatures do. I mean the uncivilized ones – animals. And the biggest dissimilarity is that we experience pure things."

There was some type of confused silence around.

This made me continue. "The more pure a feeling gets the more unrequited and unbelievable it becomes. It is often ridiculed too. There is no room for purity beyond a particular limit. And I call this limit as life. You understand this sort of limpidness, and you understand life. But I do pray for you that you never have a tryst with this wholesomeness. It takes away "life" from you."

I very well knew that nobody understood what all I had said. All I needed was just to make a few more minutes pass by.

I added, "I see it on you faces that you have understood not even a bit of this philosophy. I know nobody likes these talks and I also know that a few of you might be saying to yourselves ‘Hey, what is this guy up to today’."
"And if you are thinking that I am just wasting your time, then my answer is yes."
"Read my lips – I was just making time pass by."

"If you remember, there was a question; you people had asked me - on my book, some 15 minutes back. Well, I guess, we don’t have any time for discussing about it. It’s time for me to go now."

"For all this time I had been off-putting you people and preventing you all from making me tell more about something I am reluctant to."

"I have made you forget the main topic we were discussing. But as you know I have to leave now."

"And yes. One more thing, I am sorry. I have made you people think about what you weren’t really supposed to. I haven’t riposted the question on the book yet. All this time I was just distracting you with some stupid concepts. I have cheated you."

"Good bye".
 
posted by xubayr at 3:41:00 AM | Permalink | 1 comments
Why I hate Harry Potter
If deception, cheating, envy, hatred, jealousy, magic, black magic for that matter, are the evil concepts you appreciate and affirm, then this is the best time for you to stop reading this article. This is probably because of the fact that I intend to pull down any person who propagates these devilish passions among the multitudes of novel readers and television viewers around the world – children below 15 being the chief victims.

J K Rowling - I do really salute the mettle in this personality. She is undoubtedly a gem of a novelist, and I personally have no grudges against her. But it’s the ideas she has puts in her books, unintentionally, which make me go nuts. Now that she is the wealthiest of all the female writers in the world, I also believe she is the most powerful of them too. This is because she has a hold on millions of minds, both young and adult. Buts it’s the children who are the ones still in their growing stages, and they catch up with every notion taught to them – good or bad. (I hope everyone agrees with me when I say children learn very fast.) And this hurts me. Deception, cheating, envy, hatred, jealousy and black magic are the teachings they are being given. And the irony is that they are too happy to learn them.

It is very well a sign of depleting morals in our society. Not getting much into this topic of morals and principles, in a nut shell I’d like to say that we have begun to get entertained by evil.
It’s not just this book that is cementing these concepts. Every work that depicts the victory over evil has in a way or the other done this. The logic seems to be weird but we seldom understand that it is the evil things that look more fascinating and entertaining than the good ones.

It is not just the written material stuff that is to be blamed. The movies, the television; it’s all a part of this powerful "industry" of entertainment. Here too, all the above said concepts are depicted in animation and as we all know that a single picture is worth more than a ten thousand words, it’s simply more damaging.
And of course, the violence - it is so liked and loved by all of us. The stunts, the action scenes are so often discussed, appreciated and sometimes imitated too. It is enjoyed to such an extent that we become highly fragile when frustrated, and subsequently get aggressive. Here, emotional intelligence is baffled and ceases to have a control on us.

There has been a survey in the United States of America which says than an average 14-yead-old child, in all his lifetime of 14 years has viewed 11,000 hours of violence on the television. Now, it is believed that a person becomes an expert in whatever he spends time with, for 9,000 hours. So, it’s becomes obvious that we have children who have expertise in violence. Wow, we are so well civilized. Aren’t we?

It won’t be much difficult for me a task to go on pin pointing the disadvantages of the entertainment we like to have. I only don’t do it fearing that even my article will start sentertaining you. What you need to do is to think and act. Now I am nobody to make you think, but all I can say is "Choose wisely what you learn and teach". That is all.
 
posted by xubayr at 3:38:00 AM | Permalink | 3 comments
I Have Learned - By Irfan Hussain
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.
I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you'd better know something.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do, but to the best you can do.
I've learned that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it.
I've learned that no matter how thin you slice it, there are always two sides.
I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I've learned that it's a lot easier to react than it is to think.
I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place. (Amen to that!)
I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I've learned that learning to forgive takes practice.
I've learned that there are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.
I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.
I've learned that I'm getting more and more like my grandma, and I'm kind of happy about it.
I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I've learned that you should never tell a child her dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if she believed it
I've learned that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.
I've learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I've learned that sometimes when my friends fight, I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.
I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
I've learned that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.
I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I've learned that if you don't want to forget something, stick it in your underwear drawer.
I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I've learned that the clothes I like best are the ones with the most holes in them.
I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I've learned that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.
I've learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves get farther in life.
I've learned that many things can be powered by the mind, the trick is self-control.
I've learned that no matter how many friends you have, if you are their pillar, you will feel lonely and lost at the times you need them most.
I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
I've learned that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.
I've learned that the paradigm we live in is not all that is offered to us.
I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.
I've learned that although the word "love" can have many different meaning, it loses value when overly used.
I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.
 
posted by xubayr at 3:31:00 AM | Permalink | 1 comments
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Dare to see failure?
A simple query from my friend about my preparations to confront the failure to have what I’d like to, got me to thinking.

The very word failure made me drive some saliva into my throat. I could, with ease, feel that word deep in there, the visible reaction of my emotional intelligence on physical appearance. But I had to reply; I am supposed to be answerable for everything around me. As I looked up to him, I could only see a blurred image of his for my eyes were moistened. Why on earth did he have to ask this?

There was an incredible spurt of emotions within me and it took me some time to gather myself. But this was something I should have asked myself long back when I started to dream. I was now face-to-face with a question which was trying the positive attitude in me. I could also feel the jolt of my impetuous reacting knack being damaged. From nowhere out of my mouth came, "I am a damn selfish person. When I, some time in my being, sit down to write a book on my life, I’ll put that loss in golden words and make people be in awe of it."
 
posted by xubayr at 2:54:00 AM | Permalink | 1 comments


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